Counting And Waiting

I'm warning you ahead of time that this post may be way too much information; bear with me...

I went to my OBGYN a week ago today to get what Steve and I affectionately refer to as the "baby pill". It's actually a pill that helps to jump start ovulation if you're trying to get pregnant. My cycles have always been very irregular which makes it difficult for me to know when I'm ovulating and when the best time is to try and get pregnant. With Bella, my OBGYN had to give me a pill to start my cycle in the first place because it had been 6 months since my last one.

This time around, I've been off birth control since last Fall and my cycles have been more or less every month. When I went to the OBGYN last week, we didn't even discuss the pill to start my cycle because I had skipped May, but had one in June. The directions for the ovulation pill say that I don't even start taking them until Day 5 of my cycle, which brings us to now...

I'm about a week late on my cycle based on last month, so that means I'm about to skip the month of July altogether. I have this bottle of pills that I'm just staring at, waiting to actually be able to take some action instead of just waiting and hoping. It's not exactly stressful, just frustrating. I absolutely know that it will happen, but Steve and I want a baby so badly, and it's hard to keep buying pregnancy tests, wondering if a random symptom is really a baby and then being disappointed.

I'm not walking around covered in stress and turmoil or anything, I just had to get out what was in my head. When we finally make this baby, we'll forget all of the effort it took to get here, but at this moment, it's hard to wait.