Mother's Day makes me think of, not only my three little humans here with me, but also the two babies we lost. And really, it makes me think of all the women who I look up to in my walk as a mother. My own Mume, my mother-in-law, my sisters-in-law, and the friends and makeshift family who have come alongside me and taught me what it means to be a mother.
I could write pages about how thankful I am for my mom, and for Steve's. About the way they raised us, how they shaped our families growing up and the family we're building today. The way that both of them have come alongside me, each in their own way, to encourage me, guide me, challenge me, and provide an incredible example of what it means to be a mom.
And to those women, some my age and some older; some of them so similar to my own personality, but most of them vastly different. Those friends, adopted mothers, soul sisters, and counselors who have patiently listened to my joys, my sorrows, my angry vents, my teary-eyed moments of frustration, my doubts, my insecurities, and my triumphs. They have listened and answered, offered their advice and wisdom, their own hilarious stories of triumphs or utter failures, so I would know I wasn't alone. These women have made motherhood the most precious experience. I would be lost as a mother without them.
Having Bella placed in my arms was an experience like none other.
One of our favorite stories to tell Evelyn about her birth is how Daddy caught her, because the midwife wasn't standing close enough.
We don't have a picture of Baby #3, because we miscarried at 6 weeks. It's weird and incredible and mind-blowing to think we'll meet this little baby in Heaven one day.
Steve and I were unsure at first if we wanted to hold Lily, and I'll never regret that we got to meet her. It was heart-wrenching, but getting to hold her made her so much more real to us. It was a very precious moment that I know Steve and I will both hold on to for the rest of our lives.
And what a beautiful moment of redemption this little man was! I didn't know how much I needed the healing he brought me until he was in my arms. My mommy heart wanted a boy so desperately, and I'm so very thankful that, in this instance, God gave me the desire of my heart.