This may sound backwards, but I've been
really nervous about going back to a hospital for Little Man's birth.
It's not some residual fear from Lily's
birth, and it's not because I've necessarily had a negative experience
birthing at a hospital; it's simply because of the total freedom we had giving
birth to Evelyn at home.
No interventions, no separation from
the baby, we didn't even have to think about it - it's just the way it
was. I didn't have to worry about stating my preferences for having the baby
placed on my chest immediately after delivery, or asking the doctors to wait
for the umbilical cord to stop pulsing before it was clamped. There were no
nurses to wake us up in the middle of the night to check my blood pressure
(Evelyn was doing that to nurse!), and no hoops to jump through while waiting
to be discharged.
When we first got pregnant with Little
Man, Steve and I were both equally certain about wanting a hospital birth. As
the pregnancy progressed, though, I've become calmer about the process that my
body is going through, and remembering that my body was made to do
this. If I had my choice, I would be having this baby at home again. After
losing two babies in the last year, though, Steve is definitely more
comfortable within the walls of a hospital for Little Man's birth. Our hearts
were in different places, so we sat down to talk...
I
told him that I completely understood why he wanted a hospital birth and that
all of his reasons were right! (And I promised not to pull the "this is my
body" card!) He wasn't the bad guy, and I wasn't just waiting for him to
give in. But I needed him to understand that my heart wanted a
homebirth. I needed us to have the same mindset, even if our ideal locations
were different.
To
be comfortable with a hospital birth, I need to know that Steve and I both
have a "homebirth mentality" in a hospital setting. Here are a couple
of things I care about the most going into Little Man's birth. My two
main...concerns...preferences...are birthing positions and the first few
minutes after the baby is born.
When
Bella was born, I labored and gave birth flat on my back with my legs pulled up
to my chest. I had a labor nurse who instructed me to push for three hours
because she was tired of waiting for the OBGYN to show up. I ended up with an
episiotomy, crazy hemorrhoids, and a broken tailbone. At the time, I didn't
know any better (my own fault), so I didn't even realize that I had different
options. After a little more life experience, and a lot more reading, I'd
really like to try and actually deliver (not just labor) in a squatting
position. I know a doctor isn't going to order me on my back or anything, but I
also know it's much more convenient for them if I'm on my back.
The
other area where my preferences become much closer to "demands" (as
long as Little Man's health allows) is the first 30 minutes or so immediately
after his birth. I'd like him to be placed on my chest right away without being
cleaned or messed with first. I'd like the medical team to wait for the
umbilical cord to stop pulsing before they clamp the cord. I'd like the initial
APGAR tests to be done while he's on my chest, and I'd like to start
breastfeeding right away. I'd also like to decline the Vitamin K eye drops and
Hep B vaccination. I would just like it to be as natural as possible; no heavy
touching other than Steve and I, no interventions, just let it be...natural. (I
use that word a lot in my head.)
Now,
before it sounds like I'm going crazy or just getting way too intense over
nothing, let me say that I know my apprehension is due to a lack of
information about the hospital's policy, etc. It may be that Steve and I do the
hospital tour and show our birth plan to the midwives/doctors, and end up
thinking, "Oh! This will be a great experience." (You know, other
than the horrible pain of pushing a human being out of your nether regions.)
It's just hard not to view a hospital as a large institution, with policies,
thousands of patients, and a "status quo" mentality.
One
of the things that I'm really excited about is having the woman who taught our
birth class when we were pregnant with Evelyn present at Little Man's birth as
a doula. She offered her services as a gift to us, and I couldn't be more
thrilled! She is our age and very down-to-earth. Steve and I sometimes find
ourselves a little in-between, being "non-crunchy" people
with slightly crunchy birth beliefs, so knowing that Lindsey is in a very
"feel-good" profession without being that way herself is very
reassuring. She will be able to not only offer suggestions for natural pain
relief, etc., but also act as an advocate for us to the labor nurses and
doctors who come into our room.
Beyond
that, we're going to be prepared with our birth plan, keep breathing
when people disagree, and pray we encounter like-minded nurses and
doctors when we go in to deliver!
I can't
remember if I've posted this ultrasound yet, but really, is there such a thing
as too many baby pictures?
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