Adjusting And Still Celebrating

Christmas was definitely different this year. There were a lot of emotions going home this week...

My parents and uncle had to make the very difficult decision to place my Grandma in a nursing home. Both of my dad's parents passed away at home, so I've never experienced or witnessed the emotions that come with separating a husband and wife and feeling like you're abandoning a parent, while still knowing that it was absolutely the best and only decision that could be made.

Grandpa has been breaking bones without any real reason, so mom finally convinced him to have tests done with the doctor. The doctor discovered that my Grandpa's body is riddled with cancer. The cancer is in his lungs, his colon, and has spread throughout the bones. Mentally, he is doing well, and he will go to an oncologist on Friday to get more answers, but regardless, it became clear that he was no longer able to care for my Grandma.

Grandma doesn't walk very well, so she's in a wheelchair for almost her entire day. She also has some dementia, so she doesn't always remember people or where she is. She knows she's going into a home, but she doesn't understand why. Her life has been with my Grandpa and she doesn't agree that she should be separated from him. She thinks her family is abandoning her. She's sad and scared. 

Mel, Steve, and I knew we were walking into a very emotional and stressed home...

With all that was going on and all of the decisions that had to be made, we still had some happy, light, hilarious moments! Bella and Evelyn were a breath of fresh air and a much-needed distraction for my mom and dad. Grandma was spending about a week at my parents' house before moving into her new "palace" (that's what we're calling it), so Mel and I got a great opportunity to spend some time and talk with her. There wasn't room for all of us to sleep, so Steve, Evelyn, and I slept in my dad's pop-up camper. When we woke up on Christmas morning, Steve said, "Merry-first-Christmas, Evelyn! You're in a trailer!"

There were some moments of feeling like we were in "constant chaos". There was a lot of laughter and a lot of tears. There was stress and guilt and anxiety...and memories and bonding and hugs. I am so thankful that God allowed Steve's boss to be so positive about him taking some extra time off, because I wouldn't have missed it for the world! It was so precious to be able to spend Christmas with my mom and dad and Rachel.

We're praying for overwhelming peace and calm for everyone involved. I feel so much sadness for my Grandma right now, but I also feel so much thankfulness for my mom's sake. It's going to be a long adjustment period for everyone, and it's not going to be easy for a long while yet.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Romans 15:13

Pictures of Christmas frivolity to come!