Pregnant Women Are Smug

There's a YouTube video that I've seen a few times called "Pregnant Women are Smug." Minus a swear word, it's actually really funny! I'm sure I've had moments of being a smug pregnant woman, but I firmly believe I have a defense. Here's why...

Five Reasons I Occasionally Seem To Be A Smug Pregnant Woman:

1. The smug appearance is really just a permanent daze from being woken up by an almost-three-year old at 12:30 AM, cheerfully exclaiming, "All done naps!" And again at 2:00 AM, 4:15 AM, and 6:30 AM. After that, you just give up and let her play Angry Birds on your iPhone.

2. I'm in denial that it will be years before I even care to wear stilettos and pencil skirts. I love my high heels. I mourn the pencil skirts stuffed in the back of my closet. But knowing you'll have to chase a toddler around the church parking lot to make sure she doesn't get hit by a car or cause any variety of disasters tends to make one lean towards jeans and ballet flats.

3. It's really hard not to think you're the woman when you are able to carry a toddler in your arms, hold another one by the hand, find your coupons/money/store card for the checkout girl, and push the cart out the door - all while balancing an extra 30 pounds around your waist. I mean c'mon, give a girl some credit!

4. If I don't occasionally think I am super-woman/super-mom, I may have to think about all of the OTHER things I'm not doing "right": feeding my daughter a cornbread muffin and chocolate cupcake for dinner and not thinking it's a big deal, forgetting to exercise no matter how important my midwife keeps telling me it is, losing my temper when I should calmly be reading my daughter a Bible verse and then placing her in time-out, not drinking enough water, forgetting to make more homemade laundry detergent yet, and well, you get the picture...

5. In all fairness, I did push a live human being out of my body after keeping it alive for ten months with nothing but my bodily fluids. I think that should earn me some bonus points.

So, to all you single girls out there: you get stilettos, margaritas, total freedom, and the ability to sleep past 6:00 AM on Saturday mornings. Please excuse my occasional smugness; I'm just amazed I'm still awake and remembered to put on underwear before going out in public.