Dear Bella,
You are five years old today! How is that possible? You will learn one day that every momma feels this way, but it seems like we just brought you home from the hospital in your pink and white blanket from your Great-Grandma Ferguson; now, you are this stunning, curious, wild, wonderful, hilarious, defiant, and loud little girl! "Five" seems so...big. I can't call you a "toddler" or "preschooler" anymore, you are an actual, bonafide "kid".
You have loved horses for so long, I can't remember a time when you weren't galloping around the house and whinnying at the top of your lungs. You tie up every animal you own like they're in a corral, and you know words like "bridle", "Appaloosa", and "mustang". You also love to sing. Girl, do you sing! You could be coloring by yourself or riding in the car, but you start to belt out your favorite Disney tunes at the top of your lungs. You know all the words to the Frozen soundtrack and somehow, you know the Aladdin songs, even though you've never seen the movie. And you never fall asleep without me or Daddy singing to you.
My little human, you are a challenging kid. (No sugar-coating now that you're a big kid.) You are strong-willed, demanding, and emotional in a way that has made me doubt myself and question the way we're raising you. Being your momma has forced me to pray and ask God for wisdom more than anything else in my life. When you are disrespectful or whining for the hundredth time that day, I feel more tired than I can imagine and I feel like crying or giving up. But most of all, I forget one thing - that you are a joy.
You are a joy when you beg for Coke, you are a joy when you teach Evelyn how to pant like a dog or when you try to pick her up so she can "climb" your favorite tree. You are a joy when you ask me if Satan is "that snake guy" or whether we can fly a plane to heaven, but then completely ignore my answer. You're a joy when you want to be my constant helper, my little human who always wants to be by my side. And I forget so often. I get busy and distracted, so I yell and act frustrated. I forget that really, all you want is my attention and my love. I forget to tell you how totally awesome you are.
So...on your fifth birthday, when you are officially entering the big kid world, I'm reminding you how much I love you. I'm telling you that you are smart and creative and wonderful; that you are sweet and good and that I am so proud of you. During naptime today (when you decided you didn't need a nap), you threw your arms around my neck and told me that when you get married, you're going to stay with me forever so that you don't miss me too much. And I got to hug you back, smell your dirty little head, and decide that that was just perfect with me. (I'm not sure what Daddy will say, though.)
I love you, baby girl. So very much!
Love,
Mommy
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