Love And Respect

I've been trying all week to post a video of Bella in the bathtub, but it won't load properly, so I'm going to wait until later and share this book I've been reading, Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. I'm only about halfway through this book, but I feel as though it was written for Steve and I. As I've been reading, I feel as though this has been the underlying problem to any of our arguments.

The book's central idea is that what a man needs most in his life is respect, and what a woman needs most is love. It sounds simple, but it really hammers out a man's need for unconditional respect. The book, for me, has been extremely humbling. There have been many times as I've been reading that I've thought, "But what about Steve?"

I would say our marriage is pretty awesome about 80% of the time - we get along well, we've learned how to communicate with each other, and we simply enjoy being around each other! I respect him completely - as a man, as my husband, as the father of my child. The problem comes in the everyday moments. See, I am extremely selfish and prideful, and I usually think I'm right. I'm not saying that to be cute. I really do think I'm right about 90% of the time.

You can imagine how this can be difficult in a marriage partnership. I'm realizing that the eye rolling, deep sighs, or raised eyebrows have all contributed to disrespecting Steve. It's not like I thought those were great responses before, but this book has helped me realize just how damaging they can be as Steve works to be the leader of our home.

All that to say that I'm learning, and I'm very excited about what I've been learning. I've also been excited about what Steve may learn from the book, as well, about how to communicate unconditional love in a way that I will recognize. Steve and I have often felt that our natural personalities make it very difficult to follow our God-given roles in the home. This book is giving me concrete, practical ways to show my husband respect.