The Decision To Be Done

We know (we KNOW!) that we are done having kids. We both come from families of three, and we both just sort of knew that three was our limit. We didn't have a third just to "try" for a boy - if Lily had survived full-term, we would have been done then. Probably a little disappointed at not having a boy, but still sure about our number.

There's a huge difference, though, between knowing you're done having kids, and making it impossible to have any more. We're at the point where Steve and I are discussing options for our future, and honestly, a permanent option makes the most sense for us. Birth control pills make me screwy, and we just don't like some of the other choices. (I'm trying not to be too detailed for the sake of our mothers. Because...well...I don't want their heads to explode.)

But when I imagine the moment where I won't be able to have any more children, it gets really emotional for me. The thought of never falling asleep with a newborn tucked up against me, never having that moment where a little human being comes out of you or when you feel a baby kicking inside of you. That's just hard to accept, even though I know it's what we want.

So, my two options right now are an IUD (I found one that is non-hormonal and lasts for ten years) and a product called Essure. The Essure device is completely permanent, meaning that, once it's in, there is no chance of changing your mind or going back. The funny thing is, the thought of a surprise pregnancy makes me physically ill. I am a planner and a control freak; I do not react well to surprises that major. I am absolutely certain that I don't want more children, and I'm even more certain that I don't want to get pregnant while Henry's still a baby. But I'm 32...what if I change my mind?

 

Which brings us back to an IUD. An IUD gives me the assurance of "permanence" (and it starts working right away!), but it also gives my emotions a chance to catch up with the idea of you're never doing this again. The only negative of an IUD is that I keep reading about how they make you have really intense periods for the first 6 months or so. That, and a really vivid memory of a Law & Order episode where an IUD perforated a girl's stomach and killed her. (Good times.)

 

Pray for us as we move forward! We want to make the best decision for our family, and weigh the options without driving ourselves crazy!